Could Unresolved Trauma Be the Reason You Feel Stuck?
Sometimes, the ways we feel stuck are not random, they’re patterned. These patterns may not shout, “I’m stuck in a trauma response!” but they whisper in the background of your life: in your tension, your restlessness, your need to stay busy, your inability to fully relax. You might not even recognize it as trauma, and maybe chalk it up to this is just the way things are. But the truth is, trauma doesn’t always show up as one big, obvious event. It can live in the everyday experience of never quite feeling safe, settled, or connected.
You might notice it in moments like these:
🔸 You’re always bracing for something. Even when things are “fine,” your body stays tense, like it’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. Small stressors can send your heart racing, and loud sounds or sudden changes feel jarring.
🔸 Sleep doesn’t come easily. You might struggle to fall asleep, wake up in the night feeling alert, or rise in the morning just as exhausted as when you went to bed. Nightmares or racing thoughts may be part of your nights, too.
🔸 Your mind won’t stop. Conversations replay on a loop. You overanalyze decisions, second-guess yourself, and constantly wonder what others are thinking. It’s like your brain is working overtime to stay ahead of anything that might go wrong.
🔸 You feel disconnected from yourself. Some days, everything feels flat, like you’re just going through the motions. Other days, waves of emotion hit out of nowhere, sadness, fear, anger, and you don’t know where they’re coming from.
🔸 Boundaries feel confusing. You might find it hard to say no, often prioritizing others to avoid tension. Or maybe you’ve distanced yourself from connection altogether because relationships feel overwhelming or unpredictable.
🔸 You stay busy to stay safe. Constant motion, work, screens, productivity, become a shield. Because slowing down feels uneasy, because when you do, all the emotions you’ve been pushing aside start creeping in.
If any of those sound familiar, you may be stuck in a Trauma response.
Why does Trauma still affect me? Shouldn’t I be over it by now?
Maybe you’ve asked yourself this quietly, or maybe in frustration: Why is this still affecting me? It happened so long ago. You might even doubt whether it “counts” as trauma, especially if others seem to have gone through worse. Perhaps you feel ashamed for still struggling, wondering why you can’t just move on.
Here’s the truth: trauma isn’t just something that happened in the past. It’s something that lives on in the body when there wasn’t enough safety or support to fully process it at the time. Even if your mind has tried to make sense of it or push it aside, your nervous system may still be responding as if the threat is happening now.
If your body learned to stay on high alert, to shut down, or to brace for harm, those protective patterns don’t just fade with time. They stay active beneath the surface until they’re gently acknowledged, processed, and released. That’s why willpower alone often isn’t enough. Healing doesn’t come from forcing yourself to “get over it.” It comes from learning how to feel safe again, in your body, in your relationships, and in the present moment.
“Feelings of helplessness, immobility, and freezing. If hyperarousal is the nervous system’s accelerator, a sense of overwhelming helplessness is its brake. The helplessness that is experienced at such times is not the ordinary sense of helplessness that can affect anyone from time to time. It is the sense of being collapsed, immobilized, and utterly helpless. It is not a perception, belief, or a trick of the imagination. It is real.”
The Good News Is You Are Not Alone!
You might feel like you’re the only one struggling, like something is wrong with you for not being able to “move on.” But the truth is, trauma is incredibly common, far more than most people realize. 70% of adults (223 million people) have experienced at least one traumatic event in their lifetime. One in three women and one in four men will experience some form of physical or sexual violence, and over 60% of adults grew up in environments marked by emotional neglect, abuse, or instability.
For some, trauma stems from a single, overwhelming event, like a car accident, a sudden loss, a natural disaster, a medical emergency, or an act of violence. These are often what people traditionally think of when they hear the word “trauma.”
But trauma can also develop in response to chronic, ongoing stress, especially in environments where you felt powerless, unsupported, or persistently unsafe. Experiences like childhood emotional neglect, abuse (emotional, physical, or sexual), bullying, or growing up in a home with addiction, instability, or emotional unpredictability can deeply shape the nervous system over time.
Trauma is personal. It’s not just about what happened to you, it’s about what it felt like to go through it, especially if you were alone with fear, confusion, or pain. In addition, was there a competent protector available to provide support, safety, and connection needed to make sense of it and process it.
How Can Trauma Therapy Help?
Healing from trauma is a journey of reconnecting with your body, emotions, and inner wisdom in a way that feels safe and empowering. Using Somatic Experiencing (SE), Inner Relationship Focusing (IRF), and Supportive Touch Work, we can gently unwind trauma’s grip on your nervous system, restore a sense of safety, and help you feel more at home in yourself.
Rather than diving into overwhelming emotions all at once, Somatic Experiencing (SE) is a body-oriented model that helps you develop the capacity to sit with difficult sensations and repressed emotions without becoming re-traumatized. SE assesses where a person is “stuck” in the fight, flight, or freeze response and provides tools to complete these fixated physiological states and release thwarted survival energy bound in the body. This process helps your nervous system recognize that the threat is over, and restore a sense of regulation and ease.
While SE focuses on the body, Inner Relationship Focusing (IRF) works with the emotional and cognitive imprints of trauma. Trauma often creates inner conflict, where one part of you may feel stuck in fear, shame, or self-protection, while another part pushes you to “move on” or “get over it.” Instead of battling or suppressing these parts, IRF helps you turn toward them with curiosity and compassion. This practice strengthens your inner witnessing presence, a space inside you that can hold pain without becoming overwhelmed by it. Through this process, deep-seated trauma-based beliefs, such as: I am not safe, I am unworthy, or I must please others to survive, begin to soften and shift naturally. Over time, this inner relationship fosters a sense of self-trust and stability, allowing you to engage with your emotions without feeling hijacked by them.
Because trauma often involves a loss of connection, Healing Touch, whether physical or imagined, can rebuild trust, calm the body, and restore a sense of belonging and connection with yourself and with others. Supportive Touch might include:
Self-contact techniques (placing a hand on your heart or belly) to create a sense of comfort and grounding.
Gentle, attuned touch (if in-person and with consent) to support nervous system regulation.
Imaginal touch—even visualizing safe, supportive contact can have a powerful effect on healing.
Healing Means Bringing the Pieces Together, Not Pushing Them Away
By integrating Somatic Experiencing, Inner Relationship Focusing, and Healing Touch Work, healing becomes less about “getting rid” of trauma and more of a deeply embodied process. Your nervous system learns to reset, your inner world becomes more compassionate and stable, and your body feels safe enough to experience joy, connection, and spontaneity again.
Healing Happens in the Present Moment
If something inside you is saying it’s time to heal, I invite you to take that first step. What happened to you is only part of your story, but it does not define who you are right now. If you’re ready to step into the present and reconnect with all of who you are, let’s talk. Healing isn’t about leaving the past behind, it’s about integrating it, honoring it, and stepping fully into the life that’s waiting for you.
Take the First Step: Healing at Your Own Pace
If you are interested in exploring Trauma Therapy, I would be honored to walk alongside you on your healing journey. Schedule a Consultation. I offer a free 20-minute phone consultation, OR If you have any questions, send a message through my Contact Form.