Are You Struggling As a Parent?
If the answer is YES, you are not alone. So many parents silently carry the weight of feeling like they’re not doing enough, not doing it right, or simply not holding it all together, and it’s incredibly heavy. Parenting is one of the most deeply meaningful and rewarding roles we can take on, but it’s also one of the most emotionally, mentally, and physically demanding.
You might find yourself exhausted before the day even begins, snapping when you promised yourself you’d stay calm, or lying in bed at night replaying every moment you wish you’d handled differently. There’s often guilt for not enjoying it more, frustration when nothing seems to work, and even shame when you lash out, feel disconnected, overwhelmed, or unsure of how to meet your child’s needs.
According to the American Psychological Association, up to 5 million U.S. parents experience parental burnout, characterized by overwhelming exhaustion related to their parenting role, each year.
Parenting Comes So Easily for Everyone Else. Why Is It So Hard For Me?
The shame that comes up as a parent can be deep, unexpected, and often carried in silence. It might sound like: “I should know how to handle this,” “Why am I losing my patience?” “What if I’m messing them up?” It can show up in quiet moments, after yelling, after shutting down, or when you feel like you’ve failed to be the calm, loving presence you want to be, or what parenting messaging boards suggest it should be.
This kind of shame often runs deeper than guilt. It’s not just “I did something wrong”, it becomes “There’s something wrong with me.” You might compare yourself to other parents who seem more patient, more together, and more in control. You may feel a sinking sense that you’re falling short. Shame thrives in that isolation, convincing you that no one else feels this way or struggles like you do.
The truth is, you are not alone with these thoughts and feelings. Most, if not all, parents feel this to some degree. The challenge is that parents worry that if they speak openly about their frustration, burnout, or mistakes, they’ll be seen as bad parents, or worse, that they’ll be blamed, criticized, or misunderstood by friends, family, professionals, or even their partners. There's often a silent pressure to hold it all together and keep up appearances, especially when others are depending on you.
Struggling as a parent doesn’t make you a bad parent, it makes you human. The moment you begin to share what’s real, you open the door to connection, support, and healing for yourself and your children.
Feeling Exhausted Is Part Of The Package
Parenting is exhausting, and it impacts your physical body in ways that often go unnoticed. The emotional, mental, and physical demands can keep your nervous system and body in a constant state of stress, which, over time, can lead to things like muscle tension, headaches, fatigue, poor sleep, digestive issues, or even a weakened immune system.
You might notice yourself holding your breath, clenching your jaw, or feeling tightness in your chest or shoulders, small signs that your body is holding the emotional load. When you're overwhelmed, it's common to swing between hyperarousal (feeling on edge, anxious, and easily triggered), or hypoarousal (totally drained, numb, disconnected, and exhausted). This is your nervous system trying to cope the best way it knows how.
Unfortunately, when you're always focused on caring for others, it's easy to lose touch with what your body needs, whether that's rest, movement, nourishment, touch, or simply a moment to breathe. Understanding and tending to your physical body is an essential part of sustainable parenting. When you start to notice and care for the signals your body is sending, you can begin to regulate your stress, increase your resilience, and feel more grounded and present in both your parenting and yourself.
How You Were Parented Will Impact How You Parent Your Child.
Whether you like it or not, your children will inevitably activate your childhood wounds. Not because they’re doing something wrong but because their raw, unfiltered emotions mirror parts of yourself that may never have been fully seen, held, or accepted. When your child is upset, needy, angry, or acting out, it can unconsciously stir up old, unresolved memories or sensations from times in your childhood when you felt: rejected, ignored, overwhelmed, or punished for needing comfort, crying too long, expressing anger, or wanting more than your caregivers could give.
Now, when your child expresses big emotions, especially in loud, messy, or prolonged ways, your body may interpret their behavior not as a child in need, but as a threat to your internal safety. Without conscious awareness, your nervous system might go into a familiar survival state: shutting down, snapping in anger, becoming rigid, withdrawing emotionally, or feeling panicked and overwhelmed. These reactions aren’t choices, they’re automatic responses based on what your system had to do to stay safe when you were small.
When the moment is over and the “threat” is gone, in comes the shame and guilt. Why am I reacting this way? Why can’t I stay calm? These moments, as awful as they can feel, are not about failure but instead are invitations. They’re opportunities to turn inward, to notice the younger parts of you that are still carrying unmet needs and unresolved pain. With support and compassion, you can begin to tend to those parts and nurture them inward, so you can have the capacity to respond to your child in need with presence.
Parenting Therapy Can Help
Therapy can be a powerful lifeline for struggling parents, not because it “fixes” the child or turns you into a perfect parent, but because it gives you the space, support, and tools you need to feel more grounded, confident, and connected in the midst of it all.
Here’s how therapy can help:
1. A Place to Be Honest Without Judgment. Parenting is full of moments you may not feel safe to say out loud. In therapy, you get a space where everything you feel is welcome. You don’t have to filter yourself. That alone can be deeply relieving and healing.
2. Regulate Your Nervous System. When you're overwhelmed, stressed, or triggered by your child’s behavior, it’s not just a “bad day”, your nervous system is likely dysregulated. Therapy helps you recognize those states (fight, flight, freeze, or fawn) and gives you tools to come back into balance. When you're more regulated, your child can feel that, and often, they begin to settle too.
3. Heal Your Childhood Wounds. Therapy helps you recognize when those old patterns are showing up, so you can respond to your child with intention, not reaction. It’s like giving your inner child and your real child what they both need.
4. Rewrite Your Inner Dialogue. So many parents carry harsh inner voices: I’m failing. I’m not patient enough. I’m messing up my kids. Therapy helps you slow down and meet those inner critics with compassion and curiosity, transforming self-judgment into self-understanding. That shift allows you to parent from a place of grounded presence, not guilt.
5. Strengthen Boundaries and Self-Care. Therapy helps you explore what’s draining you, what your limits are, and where you might need support or space. You learn that caring for yourself is not selfish. It is essential to being the parent you want to be.
6. Reconnect with Joy, Play, and Purpose. Parenting can feel like a list of to-dos, especially when you're burned out. Therapy can help you reconnect with what you love about being a parent, how to create moments of joy even in the chaos, and how to find meaning again in the day-to-day.
Healing Begins Here and Now
Parenting can stir up deep emotions and old patterns that are hard to make sense of on your own. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or unsure how to be the parent you want to be, you’re not alone. The good news is that change doesn’t require perfection, just a willingness to begin. If you're ready to feel more grounded, present, and connected with yourself and your child, I’m here to support you.
Take the First Step: Healing at Your Own Pace
If you’re curious about Parenting Therapy, Schedule a Consultation. I offer a free 20-minute phone consultation, OR if you have any questions, send a message through my Contact Form.