What Is Inner Relationship Focusing (IRF)?
Inner Relationship Focusing (IRF) is a mindfulness-based therapeutic approach developed by Ann Weiser Cornell and Barbara McGavin, rooted in Eugene Gendlin’s Focusing method. It helps individuals cultivate a compassionate, non-judgmental relationship with their inner experiences, especially emotions, bodily sensations, and unresolved feelings.
Unlike traditional problem-solving or self-analysis, IRF emphasizes "being with" inner experiences rather than trying to change or fix them. This gentle process fosters deep emotional healing, clarity, and self-trust.
How Does Inner Relationship Focusing Work?
IRF follows a structured yet fluid process that encourages self-awareness, emotional regulation, and transformation. Here’s how it works:
Becoming Aware of the Felt Sense
Instead of diving into thoughts or narratives, IRF invites you to tune into a "felt sense", a subtle bodily sensation that holds the core of an emotional experience.
Example: Instead of saying, “I’m anxious,” you might notice a tightness in your chest or a heavy feeling in your stomach.
Creating a Gentle Inner Relationship
Rather than identifying with emotions (e.g., "I am anxious"), IRF encourages creating space from them:
"Something in me feels anxious."
This subtle shift allows for self-compassion and inner dialogue rather than being overwhelmed by emotions.
Acknowledging and Welcoming
The practice involves welcoming whatever arises without judgment.
This could be a painful memory, a critical inner voice, or a vague unease, all treated with curiosity and care.
Listening and Staying Present
By simply being with an inner experience without rushing to analyze or suppress it, the "felt sense" naturally evolves, unfolds, or shifts.
This shift can bring new insights, emotions, or relief.
Allowing Transformation to Emerge
Over time, the part of you that feels stuck, scared, or resistant begins to trust your compassionate presence.
This deep listening allows emotions and patterns to soften and integrate, leading to a greater sense of ease and self-connection.
Why Does Inner Relationship Focusing Work?
Engages the Body’s Wisdom – Emotions are not just mental; they are stored in the body. IRF allows these bodily-held experiences to be acknowledged and processed.
Shifts from Self-Criticism to Self-Compassion – Instead of fighting inner struggles, IRF fosters an inner dialogue of kindness and curiosity.
Unlocks Stuck Emotional Patterns – By being present with feelings without trying to fix them, transformation happens naturally.
Supports Trauma Healing – IRF can gently help process old wounds without overwhelming the nervous system, making it a great complement to Somatic Experiencing and other body-based therapies.
Curious if Inner Relationship Focusing is right for you?
If you would like to learn more about IRF and experience specific IRF exercises first hand, Schedule a Consultation or Contact Me for more information.
